quester/questing/QUESTED

Leaving Banaras today, I'm feeling sentimental. Tempted to wax romantic about What India Is About. The sort of thing I hate when other people write -- before the last few days my response to this was to call bullshit; India is a country, just like any other. It has more than its share of fascinating culture, religion, history, art, wildlife, etc. but it's just a place, and the people are just people, and beyond that you can't make generalizations. There's no particular magic, or spirit, or flavor, or grand theory of all India.

After Banaras I'm not so sure anymore. The last few days I've been charmed, then stripped of my defenses, then blessed, then cut raw, then witnessed minor miracles, the literally gored by a bull (I survived intact except for a really great bruise - I guess milk really does a body good after all), then grinning ear to ear, then cursing this whole damn country and the billion people in it, then awed by generosity and hospitality.

The bad stuff: Spending an entire day lost and at the mercy of ruthless brutes, the possibility of severe financial emergency, a scary situation that involved me wandering the dark and deserted streets of the old city after midnight, the incident with the bull, getting chased by feral dogs, almost being late for my train due to some idiot "sadhu" trying to sell me the prayer beads off his own wrist for 500 rupees (only about $12 US, but a fortune here), constantly feeling betrayed and lost in translation even when doing simple things like trying to buy a goddamn coke on a hot afternoon, and to top it all off aborted calls home in the world's dirtiest and most confusing train station.

The good stuff: Getting rescued by about 30 good samaritans, the financial emergencies turning out to be pretty minor, surviving the bull experience, stumbling on the very shop selling the pretty wooden toy I'd admired in my friend Kiran's bedroom in Kolkata, having the ends of my kurta nibbled by baby goats, running into an old friend from Flux Factory on the way to breakfast, staying up till all hours shooting the shit on the roof while substances holy to various religions made the rounds, and at the end of it all, bonding with a girl named Anjali over the insane weight of my pack, and actually being given a gift by her (a tiny glittering sculpture of Radha and Krishna) when I had nothing but a laugh to give in return.

Going from being threatened and swindled by a so-called holy man to being handed a goodbye present by a schoolgirl in the space of an hour is enough to bring about an existential awakening in anyone, right?

I had written a whole passage this morning on the train about a lost little girl in the train station. In hindsight, I think it's too soppy and even new agey to put up here. But the whole thing did really make me think about a few things I've needed to think about for a long time.

On a more business related note, Internet contact from me might be spotty for the next week or so. I'm in Lucknow now (now now now), which is a city that, even though it's full of amazing historical stuff and beautiful architecture, is really not set up for foreign tourism at all. So far I've discovered one internet cafe, which luckily is near my hotel, but I won't be as connected here as I have been when there's a place to check email on every corner, as there has been everywhere else in India until now. After Lucknow I'm headed for a very quick trip up to Amritsar, in Punjab, which may be so quick I might not get a chance to blog again until I get to Agra or Delhi about a week from now (Taj Mahal, squeee!). So don't worry if you don't hear from me, I'm probably fine. If I'm not, then you'll DEFINITELY hear from me.

Wow. I can't believe how fast this trip is flying by now...