Memsahib?

Ummm, so I think I might have just accidentally bribed someone.

Here's the thing. I'm staying in this nice sort of business class hotel, kind of an Indian equivalent of a Holiday Inn (except still mega-cheap, of course). The morning desk manager is a very nice guy, and we got to talking yesterday about his kids, who apparently collect foreign coins. He wanted to know if I happened to have any small change. I gave him the last of my pennies and dimes, which made him happy. Then he asked, "hey, you know, if you have a dollar or something, I'd buy it from you."

It's important to note that India is NOT one of those countries where you can accomplish anything by flashing around some greenbacks. The exchange rate ain't what it used to be, and the rupee is heavily controlled, which makes it somewhat complicated to exchange money (especially if you're just some random Indian who probably doesn't even have a passport). Indians generally don't want your dollars. So I didn't think much of his request for some USD, though I reminded him of the crap exchange rates these days. He still seemed interested - "Oh, it's just for my kids," he said.

I happened to have a couple of one dollar bills stashed away in the bottom of my bag. Too little to bother exchanging, and not really enough to worry about saving for when I get home. So this morning I shoved them in my pocket and brought them down to Mr. Desk Manager. I didn't ask for the 75 or so rupees in return, mainly because I wanted to pay forward that schoolgirl's gift from the other day, and I really believed this was for his kids.

At the same time, I was going down to take care of a minor issue -- I'd wanted to stay in Lucknow for 4 nights, but I was told when I arrived that my room would only be available for 2 nights. My 2 nights were up, and I wanted to find a way to stay on, either by making a deal on a different room, or maybe just getting a recommendation for another hotel with a room available in my price range (Due to the lack of backpackers, Lucknow hotels aren't cheap). I really meant to settle this issue honestly.

But after handing off my $2, suddenly the manager insisted that there was no problem, I could keep my room at the agreed rate, I was an honored guest in his country, it was his dharma to make sure my stay was as comfortable as possible, and did I need a newspaper or perhaps a rickshaw for some sightseeing?

I went from "grubby tightwad gora" to "anything you want, madam" in about 2 seconds. And I can't figure out what, aside from the money, did this. Even though, of course, it's really not that much money, even here in India. 75 rupees is enough to see a movie, take the wife and kids out for ice cream, something like that. If you even bothered to exchange it.

But all the same, I'm feeling really conflicted about it. Was it wrong to give this guy dollars? It wasn't meant as a tip or a bribe - I genuinely believed him when he said his kids collected foreign coins, and I wanted to spread some of the generosity people in India have shown me. I'm feeling especially weird about it because Lucknow is the first place where I've really had to confront the "rich whitey" stereotype head on. Since this city sees so few westerners, and most who come here are package tourists staying in 5 star hotels, people feel fine extorting me for money. I don't use that word lightly, either. What else is it when someone who doesn't speak English decides you should give him 200 for reciting an inaccurate and unintelligible shpeil in your general direction at a historical monument, after you repeatedly told him you didn't want a guide?

Especially freaky is when you deny them and they actually have the chutzpah to say "madam, you are very rich, and I am very poor..." or "you are from rich country", or similar. I mean, it's true. Even as someone who's pretty poor in the US, what I'm spending on this trip is several times what the average Indian makes in a year. 200 rupees is really not that much for me. At home it's about what I'd spend on a whim at Starbucks. If I dropped $5 on the street in New York, I wouldn't be that broken up about it.

My sense of indignation is more about the principle of the thing, and then of course there's my sense of shame at even feeling put out. It's wrong for them to harrass me about it, but it also feels wrong not to give. And then on the other hand it's wrong to give, for a whole host of reasons I won't get into here. The whole thing really annoys me, more for the mental gymnastics it induces than anything else.